{news} The Unbearable Rightness Of Krayeske

[clifford thornton]

Greens and all others, this is another opprotunity to capitalize 
on this great opprotunity.

At the end of the day, it is not our enemies we remember,

but the silence of our friends! Dr. Martin L. King






      CONNECTICUT NEWS 

    Colin McEnroe



      The Unbearable Rightness Of Krayeske
      January 21, 2007 


      I am sick of Ken Krayeske.

      As all the world knows, Krayeske was arrested by the Hartford police for doing absolutely nothing during the inaugural parade for Gov. M. Jodi Rell earlier this month. He was held in jail for 12 hours on $75,000 bail.

      I would like to point out that I, too, was doing absolutely nothing on that day and have received none of the abuse and subsequent attention lavished on Krayeske. 

      It was one of those Hartford parades where the marcher-to-watcher ratio was way off. Lots of marchers, not many watchers. There were a few parents of high school marching band members, there to see those private cymbal-smashing lessons put to good use. There were handfuls of bored office workers, grabbing an excuse for some fresh air. This made it easy to spot Krayeske, who was taking pictures, which - you have to admit - was pretty suspicious. Taking pictures of a parade nobody cared about? What's up with that? 

      Krayeske would have been a lot safer in the parade as the Central Connecticut Harmonica and Expensive Camera Equipment Marching Band, because nobody would have thought to look for him there. 

      Instead, he stood at the side peacefully, sticking out like a sore thumb, got his stupid behind arrested, and now he's practically an honorary Berrigan brother.

      Not fair.

      I currently support the 2007 Sparsely Attended Parade Act, legislation that would require public officials to guarantee attendance at triumphal parades held on their behalf. In the event that more people are found to be marching in the parade than are watching it, the person being honored would have to pay every voter in the state 5 bucks. An amendment to the bill would exempt Rebecca Lobo from its provisions because lobbyists representing Ms. Lobo took me on an expensive golfing holiday in Scotland.

      My bill is currently not being considered by the state government due to crypto-fascist control of the lawmaking apparatus. On Monday, I plan to stand at the corner of Farmington Avenue and Woodland Street at 11 a.m. jumping up and down and yelling "Death to the crypto-fascist control of the lawmaking apparatus! Death to the crypto-fascist control of the lawmaking apparatus! Viva Lobo! [See above.] Overthrow the government!"

      I mean to bring the twin pillars of power and corruption crashing down. Do you hear me? Somebody better stop me because I'm a big threat. OK?

      Hello?

      Sigh.

      What does Krayeske have that I don't have?

      Wingnut opinions? Shabby clothes? I feel I can match him in those departments.

      In Friday's Courant, I come to find out that the state police printed up a color brochure of Ken Krayeske, a two-page "security flier," with current and former driver's license photos of the extremely dangerous Green Party peace activist. Please. Why stop there? Why not put: "ARREST THIS DISSIDENT & WIN A FOUR-NIGHT STAY IN ACAPULCO!" on the front of the flier?

      That flier - a dagger through my heart - was paid for with my tax dollars, even though I do not regard Krayeske as anywhere near as dangerous or irksome to the commonweal as I am. I have a long acquaintance with Krayeske. He weighs about 160 pounds and his weapons training pretty much stops at Super Soakers. I know 70-year-old Quaker ladies who could kick his butt. 

      It is ridiculous that he gets this kind of special treatment. What am I supposed to do - hire a private firm to make up a brochure about me, citing all my dangerous opinions and encouraging the police to arrest me? Do you have any idea how much that would cost? While Mr. Nonviolent Golden Boy gets his done on the taxpayers' nickel?

      And do I have to wait for another gubernatorial inaugural parade? What if the next governor is some nerd like state Rep. Andrew Fleischmann and he says, "Oh, I think the money for the parade would be better used on health care reform"? Where does that leave me? Protesting the lack of a parade? 

      On Friday night, Krayeske's supporters threw an "Oh My God, They Jailed Kenny!" party to raise money for his legal defense fund. Legal defense fund! Can you stand it? I come from an era when, to have a legal defense fund, you pretty much had to be a governor. Now I guess just about anybody can have one. 

      What's next? A Springsteen song about him? Willie Nelson hosting "Ken Aid?" I toss and turn each night with visions of Willie and Sheryl Crow singing, to the tune of Patsy Cline's "Crazy":

      "Kray-skee

      Kray-skee for being arrested ..."

      I hate to sound bitter, but I had a lot of crackpot, anti-establishment opinions back when Krayeske was sitting around his parents' house watching "Jem and the Holograms" and playing Hacky Sack. I paid my dues. Why am I not a folk hero?

      Everything is going to change on Monday. Except I just realized I have a dental appointment at 10 a.m. So I may not be able to overthrow the government until noon. Let's make it 12:30, in case I run into traffic. Does that work for you, oppressive thought-control police? You don't have to answer. Just send a signal through my new filling.



      You can hear Colin McEnroe's talk show weekdays from 3 to 6 p.m. on WTIC-AM 1080 in the Hartford area. 


      E-mail: Rmag99 at aol.com<mailto:Rmag99 at aol.com> 


     

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